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Unhealthy conditioning and coping.....



Do you ever assess your closet and decide to get rid of some old things? Just like your closet our life can have some old conditioning that needs a review as well. The questions can be similar....does it look good on me? Does it suit me? Where did I pick that up from?

So much of what we don't want to "feel" we try to cover up, distract ourselves from, push it down, ignore it or just plain run away. Thing/events happen all through life often people have never learned t how to cope. Have you ever seen children upset or crying and then someone gives them a treat to settle them down. How about when adults are stressed or angry and someone says, hey you need a drink! The intention is to help or stop the person from being stressed or upset but numbing it with alcohol only postpones what needs attention and impairs one's ability to address what is causing the stress. Not a great or effective coping strategy.

Learning new coping skills can free us from lots of old conditioned coping patterns and create space in our lives to become a healthier, happier version of who we are. Any habit we want to change, will not change with just willpower. Willpower runs out.

The real way to change a habit is by changing the way you think about it. We need to become aware of the underlying thought or belief that triggers the habit and to get clear on that origin of that belief and re-examine whether it is actually true. Through this process you may come up with a new thought or belief, one that serves you far better. This is a game changer - I've done it in many areas of my life. Also, blame and shame does absolutely nothing constructive in the way towards change and I encourage you to leave those behind and empower yourself with compassion and grace.

Some tips to leave you with this week....

Step one: No blaming or shaming yourself for anything. It is counter productive.

Growth cannot happen in that environment

Step two: Your life is 100% your responsibility and the changes you want to make

Step three: Be kind to yourself - always. It may not be easy but this brings great peace

Step four: Know that change isn't a straight line - lots of steps forward and back.

Remember you are human, not perfect. Give yourself loads of grace With much kindness, Michelle

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