We often say we want our freedom. We don’t want to be controlled by someone else. We don’t want to be told what to do. We don’t want to be criticized or judged. These are all reasonable desires. Not experiencing freedom can create many emotions. We may experience anger, frustration, resentment, helplessness or even hopelessness when feeling our freedom is being challenged. Consider how easy it can be to blame others, feel helpless or become irritable and edgy.
It may help to take a look at our habits, communication skills and patterns. Do we provide a clear path for other people’s freedom or do we tell others what to do? Is it possible we criticize or judge others? Are we unconsciously doing to others what we do not want to be done to ourselves? I encourage you to observe your communication with others. As we become aware and let go of these communications, we can begin to see our ability to make different decisions around our freedoms. It will be liberating and easier to create and hold our own boundaries, thus feeling a true sense of freedom.
It may also help to look at what our behavioral responses are with others. Unhealthy responses may be created by not valuing ourselves, or perhaps out of fear of conflict. As you read the following, see if any of it resonates with you. If so, where have they previously or currently played a role in your life?
We may not be free to be ourselves when:
We don’t value our own importance enough to speak up.
We think by not speaking up we will be preventing an argument.
We don’t want to rock the boat and have someone upset with us.
We don’t believe we will be heard or listened to by others.
We believe the other person is smarter so that trumps our views
We believe the other person’s response will be intolerable so we stay small.
We worry because______________
Are any of these relatable? Do you see any of these as a pattern in your life? It takes time to unravel these thoughts and beliefs. Learning new beliefs and behaviors does take time and repetition. It took time to establish the old patterns and they can be unlearned. Imagine the freedom you can feel each day. Imagine how much easier and joyful life could be. I encourage you to embark on a journey toward freedom within yourself.
I have walked the path, done the work and I am living proof it works. Invest in yourself. You are so worth it!
With kindness and compassion
Michelle Nesbitt
TNM Certified Coach TIR Facilitator Reiki Practitioner
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