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Writer's pictureMichelle Nesbitt

Language can create a shift!





Personal Newsletter Coaching Tidbits


The fidelity dictionary meaning is; faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support, ie. “He sought only the strictest fidelity to justice.”


What are your fidelities? What a great question!  This could be as trivial as brushing your teeth three times a day or walking your dog every morning.  As I was reading about the word fidelity I realized how it can impact many areas of our lives.  Do we have faithfulness to ourselves or is it more directed outside of ourselves?  


When thinking of fidelity, another word comes to mind.  Commitment.  On the surface there is a subtle difference between commitment and fidelity.  What if we go deeper?  Try replacing the word commitment with faithful in your sentence and see what changes. Below are a few examples.


I am committed to my body to keep it healthy.

I am a committed parent in reading nightly to my child.

I am committed to my family to earn a living.


I am faithful to my body in keeping it healthy.

I am faithful in reading to my child nightly.

I am faithful at earning a living.


How does it sound?  What nuance is there? What emotions are evoked from each?  What differences can you see? Most importantly, how does it make you feel? 


For me and it may be different for you, I feel softer and more connected with the word faithful as opposed to a force or determination I feel with the word commitment.  Both can be good, they just evoke different feelings.  Sometimes we need a hard push and other times we need a softer, more connected approach to feel good about what we are doing.


Do you have any areas of your life that are nagging at you and not feel good?  I encourage you to try this exercise and see how a simple word can perhaps shift how you feel, perceive and behave going forward.


Another word switch that has made an immense difference in my life is replacing the word “but” with the word “and”.  It doesn’t always fit and if you try it you will see how your perspective can shift.  It can remove the feeling  of discounting or negating the good before the “but”.  It also shows that it is okay to have two opposing thoughts and both can be accurate.  Here are some examples.


You did a great job cooking but the mess drove me crazy.

You did a great job cooking and the mess shows the effort!


I wasn’t sure I wanted to go to the birthday party but I went anyway.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to go to the birthday party and I went anyway.


My daughter is being incredibly difficult but I love her.

My daughter is being incredibly difficult and I love her.


Sometimes the slightest and most simple changes can create big shifts.


With kindness,

Michelle 


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