Dec 30/23.....So much has changed in the last few years. I was a successful restaurateur, a wife, a daughter, a Mom, a Grandma, a sister, an aunt and a friend. Three have gone and the rest are what hold me dear everyday. Life changes, sometimes little by little and sometimes one right after another. For me, divorce, selling out of my business, losing my dear father and then Covid was more than I had coping skills for.
I began to use alcohol to cope as that is pretty much was what most people I knew did. Throw in society's marketing, gimmicks, gift ideas, sayings, camaraderie, dinners, dating, trips all added up to drinking. I know many people who do not over drink. I was one of them until I wasn't.
What I learned along the way.....when you give alcohol a job to do, like "take the edge off", numb, "check out", or pretty much "escape"....it won't let you down. I learned how quickly it can pull you in. I realized this is the furthest thing from who I really was and knew I wanted to change my relationship with alcohol. It had become too important and was way too involved in my day to day life.
I heard of a 30 day Alcohol Experiment by Annie Grace. I found it online, joined and put my life back on track. Now this sounds easy and parts were and parts were not. The parts that were not had been with me for a long time - old conditioning, old emotions and throw in some denial. I was determined to stay with it until I uncovered the old Michelle and it was time to re-invent myself.
I hadn't set out to fully give up alcohol but after 30 days, I lengthened for another 30 days and just kept going. I felt so healthy, my mind was clearer, my sleep was amazing and I felt better than I had in years.
The first thing I learned and it is probably the most important thing is compassion for self and others. So much to explore with this one word. To be continued next week........
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